Say their name out loud.
Close your eyes, quiet your mind and breathe. Call them to you.
Picture them at their best…
Talk to them… tell them how you miss them, love them, wish they were here. Tell them what you need them to know, what is weighing so heavy on your soul. Release your pain. Release your burdens. Tell them. Tell them how you struggle, fear, rage, question, weep, wail. And tell them how you endure, how you carry on through the heaviness of deep grief, one step at a time. Whisper it. Shout it. Speak it. Tell them.
Remember the wishes they had for you and your life. Honor them.
Remember their dreams and the dreams you had for them. Honor them.
Remember the way they spoke… their tone, affect, cadence.
Remember their favorite…
Write about them.
Talk about them.
Create beauty in their name.
Treat yourself and others with kindness and compassion in their light.
Positive remembrance is so powerful.
They will continue to have meaningful impact on the world through you.
Their light will continue to shine through those whose lives they have touched.
Remember the nuances of who they were and how they lived.
Remember how you loved them and remember how they loved you.
Remember that they lived. They lived. They were here. Their life mattered. Their life matters still, forever.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR-----------------------------------------------------
I graduated from the SSA Master of Arts program at the University of Chicago and have been working as part of a private practice for over a decade. My areas of focus include working with individuals and families on grief, loss, bereavement, and difficult life transitions resulting from illness, marital conflict, divorce, and other complicated, fractured relationships. My focus as a cognitive behavioral therapist is to empower individuals to take meaningful and purposeful action to create desired change in their lives. I teach clients about the power of choice, wise minded thinking, and productive communication strategies as stepping stones to healing and transformation.
My father died one month before my twin brother and I were born. Our mother raised four kids as a single parent with love, humor, strength, and a no nonsense style that prepared us to live fully. She was diagnosed with a brain tumor my senior year of college and died peacefully at home 18 months later. I am grateful to have had that gifted time as her end of life caregiver. The losses in my life continue to inform and transform me. They continue to make me stronger, more self reliant, resilient, compassionate and grateful. I truly believe that while we can not control what happens to us, or when, we can control how we respond. We can choose grace, strength and courage… the courage to remain open and to live life well.
Check out her website at: http://transformativegrief.com