A Letter to my Angel

I think about you all the time. I often call your name. I know I couldn't save you, but I still feel I'm to blame. No matter what I try to do, I cannot ease the pain. People say that it will take some time, but things will never be the same.

The guilt I felt, the tears I cried, the day I watched you pass, I know if you were here right now you would probably kick my ass. But as I lay awake at night, and think what could I do, it also makes me realize how much I'm just like you.

You always were my hero, you were always my best friend. I told you I was with you, from now until the end. You always were the strong one, you knew just what to say. I lost the biggest part of me the day you passed away. 

I feel so lost without you, I know I must go on. But I don't know where to go from here, now that you are gone. I held your hand, I dried your tears, did all I could to calm your fears. But now that your not here with me, I don't know what to do. This life is almost to much to bear, now that I don't have you. 

With every day that passes, I only miss you more. I wake up every morning, hoping you'll walk through the door. I look for you in windows, and everywhere I go. I have looked for you every single day, since the day God took you home. I had so much to tell you, we had so much to do.

We never got to do the things we always wanted to. I know that now your healthy, and no longer in such pain. Your now my beautiful Angel, until we meet again.

About the Author

Melanie wrote A Letter to my Angel, two years ago, for her mother's one year anniversary of passing, due to stage 4 breast cancer. Melanie was her caregiver for two years, until it was no longer safe for her to take care of her on her own. Her mother, Barbara Heinz, was 52 years old when she died. Melanie watched her decline from the day of the diagnoses, which she was terminal at time of diagnosis, until the moment her heart stopped. She was Melanie's best friend and whole world.