Grief Digest Articles

Just four little words said it all, “she didn’t make it!” “Who didn’t make it?I shouted in horror. The telephone caller stammered, “Kandy has-s just p-p-passed away-y. I am so-o-o- very sorry!” Stunned, I fell back in my chair, covering my mouth to muffle my screams! My officemate began hugging me tightly. An earlier call had informed us that a front loader (construction equipment) had struck my daughter’s little Toyota Corolla. At that point, she had lost a lot of blood and had been rush …

It has been a year since my partner died in that hospital bed at home, surrounded by family and friends, struggling and agitated until peace finally comes. Funny, his name is Peace. All are glad to see the suffering end, but we are just at the start of our own suffering. I take a long time with him during his transition, making sure I am with him on his journey. I touch him, hold him close, then release him to the waiting undertakers. I watch as they gently place him in a bag, carry him on a gur …

Finding Your PurposeWhat do people do when they can’t sleep?I don’t have that answer, but I do know that diversions can help. Recently, Gary and I decided to break the string of my sleepless nights with a diversion. At about 12:30—1:00 a.m., we drove to a remote spot to observe the star showers that the meteorologist was talking about on the news. (Specifically, Perseid meteor shower- August 2021) Sitting in the dark, peaceful quietness of the universe and focusing on something so much bigg …

I opened my laptop to write one of those difficult emails to myself. And poured a glass of wine.Dear Grief,Please don’t sit with me anymore. You’ve pushed and shoved me until I feel only rage. You’ve crept into every cell and made them weep and quiver with pain, yet no tears will flow from my eyes.You’ve made me forgetful and frustrated. I can barely think clearly enough to drive. Who is this person I have become with you stalking me? Stop tormenting me! Stop trying to make me cry. Crying is n …

People love to hear our stories. It’s part of our innate curiosity. It reveals who we are, and where we came from. It is a record of how we got to where we are right now. Stories are repeated and may be passed down from one generation to another. When an uncle died, whom I didn’t see in nearly 30 years, I found myself making excuses to dismiss my obligation to go to the funeral. I reasoned that I wouldn’t recognize any of the relatives anymore, nor would they recognize me!Eventually, I decided t …