Grief Digest Articles

The old saying is true: “If there is an elephant in the room, introduce him.” No good purpose is served by denial, yet we are very good at it. And when it comes to facing the pain of our grief with both eyes open, we often turn away instead. But when we have a psychological elephant in the room of our mind, we should acknowledge him, and plan a way to shrink him down to a manageable size then get him on his way. If we’ve had a loss recently, the new year provides a good opportunity f …

We have all heard of the five stages of grief made famous by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. These are denial, bargaining, anger, depression, and finally acceptance. Although her book On Death and Dying was intended for the dying, it has also been used as a reference for the bereaved. The myth is assuming this is a complete list of stages, that they come one at a time, and in an orderly manner. A more realistic and comprehensive list should include shock, numbness, denial, emotional outbu …

Another nurse appeared in the doorway. “You can go in now and see his body.”I turned my head straight to my minister. His intense dark eyes, framed by his silver glasses, met me with a wide, open expression, as though we were on stage, and he was waiting for me to say my next line. We marched together, past the curtains and glass cubicles, each step taking us closer to the room.Spenser lay in a pristine white hospital bed, with the top half slightly inclined. The soft blue turquoise of the w …

My husband and I were devastated when we lost our twenty-four year old son,Kevin, from a tragic accident in 2010. In the years following his death, as wegrieved, we were blessed to receive many signs from him. I firmly believe thatKevin sent these signs to let us know he is happy on the other side as well as tohelp us heal.Afterlife signs in the form of butterflies are one of the most frequently reportedtypes of visits. Perhaps the reason for this is because of their symbolicsignificance. The bu …

The Uncharted Journey of Child LossOn January 4, 1997 Carolyn and I lost our 17-year-old son, Andy, in a car accident. Two weeks later, one of the first suggestions taken from a child-loss bereavement group was that I journal my thoughts and feelings as a way to deal with my grief, thus capturing both behaviors and thinking as they were happening, effectively cutting through the fog of memory loss caused by Andy’s death. I have consistently journaled my thoughts ever since Andy’s loss, together …