The Unwanted Male Journey
© Jason Tuttle, February 26, 2024
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Stressed.
Depressed.
Emotions Confessed.
Society wants my feelings suppressed.
My grief on the daily is a jumbled mess.
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Life is grief contaminated.
My world view is now very jaded.
Simple things have me irritated.
How I, the man, should act is debated.
My need for you will never, ever be satiated.
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What I feel comes in stages.
The stress of the “new norm” quickly ages.
When I feel your loss again, my heart rages.
As a man, how I feel gets trapped and put in social cages.
I try and seek the advice and wisdom of the grief sages.
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I know I’m in this for the long haul.
Most folks don’t get it, don’t understand, and won’t even call.
It’s hard to express how I feel when the words I say reverberates off an invisible wall.
Overwhelmed with emotion, on my knees I fall.
I cry my eyes out, I sob, and I bawl.
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There’s no easy answer for my oscillating pain.
In public, my grief has a certain decorum I must maintain.
In public, I must not complain I have ascertained.
The waves of grief try to drive me insane.
I must continue this path and fight the good fight or it’s all in vain.
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One day, in Heaven, we’ll surely meet.
I must continue and not accept defeat.
I tear up not seeing you sitting in your empty wheelchair seat.
My soul is weary, war torn, and beat.
This unwanted journey will be worth it when we finally reunite, and my soul will be complete.
About the Author
I am a married father of two kids with multiple mental and physical disabilities (some rare). I was a Stay-at-Home Dad for 12 years until my son suddenly and unexpectedly passed away from issues related to his needs on 01/28/22. Since the day my son passed, I created a website, FB blog, and community (Letters To Zachary) on grief that details my raw, unfiltered and open grief journey from a father's perspective. It is a place where men can feel vulnerable enough to share their emotion, empower women to help the grieving men in their lives and see that it is OK to share vulnerability through my example. My community is open to all grievers.
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Website: www.LettersToZachary.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profi
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lett
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@letter
