Grief Digest Articles

A message about suicide by Nan Zastrow, Wausau, WIThis is an encore article. It was published in Grief Digest in 2005 shortly after the death of our son, Chad Zastrow, as a result of suicide. These were my initial thoughts about how I might accept suicide as a life event and live with this painful loss. At one time, our family enjoyed playing the board game of LIFE. It was exciting to see what you could do with your life in a few short hours. The obstacles along the way were ones we laughed abou …

Outsider – person interacting with the widowerMourner – widower’s external (observable) presentation, behavior, voiceGriever – widower’s internal (private, hidden) thoughts, voiceAn encounter at fifth month from the date of her death…Outsider: Hey, I’ve been meaning to call you. Glad to run into you today. This COVID stuff has been so crazy and I’ve not been out much at all. But anyway, how have you been?Mourner: I’m good. Griever: It’s been pretty bad. Things have died i …

There are those who say they like dogs more than some people. This might be why:They’re always happy to see us no matter how long we’ve been gone, how we behave or what kind of day we’ve had. They are eternally loyal, good listeners, don’t talk back and although we wish they could, sometimes seemingly try.We think we rescued them, but in reality the opposite is true.They unconditionally love us no matter how upset we may get at them. Unfortunately dogs don’t live long enough, but I believe just …

I wish I would have told you how much I loved you so. I thought I had a lot of time before I’d have to let you go.I wish I would have told you how great I think you are. The things I did or didn’t say will forever leave a scar.I wish that I could hold your hand and see your smiling face. Ever since the day you left, my world’s a darker place.I wish that I could call you and talk about our day. I would talk to you forever with a million things to say.I wish you didn’t have to leave, I wish you co …

My heart is broken.My life is broken.I look out on a world askew,forever changed.Nothing looks right.I am in an alien land of loss,lost myself. Who could imaginethis pain?The world is coldersince my last great loss.Nothing is in person.Groups wait three monthsbefore connecting grievingpartners, soul mates, companions.Therapists go by the clock,bill for every minute.The chaplain who ranopen ended groups foryears has retired.I think back on all the poignantstories of the bereaved,and this comforts …