Grief Digest Articles

Sadness is a hallmark symptom of grief, which in turn is the consequence of losing something we care about. In this way you could say that sadness and love are inextricably linked.Yes, when you are grieving, it is normal to feel sad. I would even argue that it is necessary to feel sad. But why is it necessary? Why does the emotion we call sadness have to exist at all? Couldn’t we just move from loss to shock to acceptance without all that pain in the middle?The answer is that sadness plays an es …

Today I saw a ravenAs it quietly flew by.It landed in a treeThat stood nearby.I watched it for a momentWondering if it’s here for me.To take me awayTo set my spirit free.Or maybe it was youSent from aboveChecking in on meSending all your love.Then without a whisperThat black bird flew awayAnd I started to cryKnowing I must stay.I’ve been looking for youIn everything I seeEverywhere I goAnywhere you may be.I want to hear so badlyYour voice that sounds so sweetTo hear the words “I love you”My hear …

People often ask me how I survived the death of two children four days apart and prepared two separate funerals in one week. My 19 year old daughter Peggy was killed instantly in a freak car accident and my 21 year old son Denis died four days later from his injuries, the day after we had just buried Peggy. When the last funeral guest went home the evening of the second funeral, leaving my husband and me all alone after being pampered and waited on for a whole week, I can remember thinking, “How …

SighYears ago, I took a course about leading adult grief support groups. In the handouts was a list of ways that grief is expressed emotionally, cognitively, physically, etc. In the list for physical aspects of grief, “sighing” was listed, and it stood out to me as, at that time, I would not have thought of increased “sighing” as part of our natural grieving response. In the past month or so since my dad’s unexpected hospitalization and death, I will vouch for sighing as part of grief. It has be …

You just never get over some grief. You learn to live with it by your side. It changes (thank God) and the intensity diminishes with time, but it never goes away completely. Grief is unique to every person. Some things are universal and considered “normal,” but every personality processes grief differently.As I’ve gone back to read some of the journal entries I wrote in the first months after my husband Tim died, I was surprised at how dark and sad they were. There was a big difference in my wri …