Grief Digest Articles

The scourge of losing my twenty-six-year-old son, Paul Philip Grammatico, and his best friend, Michael, to a drunk driver leaves scars, and each day I chew on my thorns in the stunning reality of Paul’s death. The title, “MADD Mother” was impaled on me, and it breaks my heart.Paul was my past, my present and my future; he was my only son. A natural leader, he was an extremely generous young man, the epitome of loyalty, passion, motivation for life, and a true goal setter. Our hopes as a family w …

As one who has taught, written, and worked in the death-awareness field for more than forty years, I am expected to be able to manage the many deaths that have occurred in my own life as an “expert.” When others ask me for help with their grief or that of their children, spouse, friends or significant others, I have generally not told them to do as I do, but rather do as the other “experts” in the field suggest when facing grief.My own management skills have been developed over the many years an …

My mom died almost seven years ago. My dad died almost three months ago. Mom died with cancer three years after her diagnosis. She relapsed just months after her initial treatment ended. Not considered curable, she lived a little over two more years on various treatments. She was 70 years old when she died. Dad was 80 and in fairly good health. He drove himself to the local emergency room, was flown to the big-city hospital and put on a ventilator, almost dying overnight with pneumonia and sepsi …

One of the most intimate moments you will have in life is saying goodbye to a loved one for the last time. Whether your goodbye is planned, unreciprocated or lacking, there is usually a residual feeling that something is left incomplete and unsaid. There are no perfect endings. Each goodbye is unique and holds many personal lessons.The Planned GoodbyeThis goodbye is prepared for. Your loved one has a terminal illness or has suffered an accident in which you know in advance that the chances are s …

Paul J. Moon, PhDGoodbyes may be more important than hellos in that the former is guaranteed while the latter is not (for example, successive birthdays are never guaranteed, but eventual death-day is inarguable). Goodbyes may be weightier than hellos in that the former is likely latched to a cartful of memories (and other baggage) while the latter is not (or only potentially so). Goodbyes tend to be more bitter-sweet than hellos in that the former better recognizes what has been, what could have …