Grief Digest Articles

It’s not about the destination…it’s about the side trips along the way“It’s not about the destination; it’s about the journey.” We’ve all heard the quote;” and most everyone can recite it. We can even recite stories of other people whose journeys have changed tragedy to triumph, failure to success, unawareness to awareness, sadness to joy…and so on. However, sometimes, an unplanned side-trip leaves a mark on your life that uncovers greater meaning and depth than the intended journey.Grief is its …

In nearly 43 years of working with those who grieve, I have observed differences between men and women in their coping styles. The traditional grief theory I had been taught – that healing results from people identifying their feelings and sharing them – did not fit many men.Men grieve. Men cry. Men have feelings. And men heal. They just have a different way that is often not seen or understood by others. The first step for many men in their grief work is to go into their solitude. Solitude is t …

When I’m gone and the minutes turn into hours, and the hours turn into days, the heaviness inside your heart may seem too much to bear. I know you will long to hear my voice, see my face, sit beside me, tell me you love me, hear my laugh, or just have those simple conversations we once had. I know that it probably hurts more than anything else ever has, and you feel like you just cannot go on. I am sorry I had to go. What I want you to understand is that even though all of that physical stuff is …

When my parents died in 2002, within two weeks of each other, my sisters and I received advice from bereavement counselors and others who had suffered family loss. We were cautioned not to make any sudden changes in our lives. Often, we were advised to maintain as much of a status quo as possible for the first year following their deaths. None of us had ever been very successful at living according to the conventional wisdom, but floundering in the sea of grief, one clings desperately to any lif …

For many years I worked with my friend Mark in the fitness industry. Mark was the epitome of good health: he exercised daily, ate a ridiculously healthy diet, and did everything by the book to stay in tip-top condition.But Mark was always a little neurotic, and it seemed harmless on the outside – so much so that we’d joke about it. His neuroses started as a young child: he’d pull out his hair, eyebrows, or eyelashes. He said he was searching for something concrete – something he could count on. …