Grief Digest Articles

A friend had offered me a variety of perennial plants she was removing from her meticulous garden, and I greedily accepted, because I know that perennial plants bloom under adverse conditions in most any environment. Many of the varieties were new to me and I struggled with identifying them by their Latin names (which she knew very well) compared to the common names I knew. Additionally, I was mentally storing information about their preferred habitat: shade or sun. Laden with buckets of wilting …

After my two eldest children, 21-year-old Denis and 19-year-old Peggy, were killed in an automobile accident, I didn’t have a clue how I could keep their memories alive. As I was sorting through their possessions and personal effects quite soon after their deaths, I realized that I did not want them forgotten from people’s memories.While I was throwing away their student I.D. cards, drivers’ licenses, library cards, social security cards, credit cards, and the like, I had the terrible gut feelin …

It’s not about the destination…it’s about the side trips along the way“It’s not about the destination; it’s about the journey.” We’ve all heard the quote;” and most everyone can recite it. We can even recite stories of other people whose journeys have changed tragedy to triumph, failure to success, unawareness to awareness, sadness to joy…and so on. However, sometimes, an unplanned side-trip leaves a mark on your life that uncovers greater meaning and depth than the intended journey.Grief is its …

In nearly 43 years of working with those who grieve, I have observed differences between men and women in their coping styles. The traditional grief theory I had been taught – that healing results from people identifying their feelings and sharing them – did not fit many men.Men grieve. Men cry. Men have feelings. And men heal. They just have a different way that is often not seen or understood by others. The first step for many men in their grief work is to go into their solitude. Solitude is t …

When I’m gone and the minutes turn into hours, and the hours turn into days, the heaviness inside your heart may seem too much to bear. I know you will long to hear my voice, see my face, sit beside me, tell me you love me, hear my laugh, or just have those simple conversations we once had. I know that it probably hurts more than anything else ever has, and you feel like you just cannot go on. I am sorry I had to go. What I want you to understand is that even though all of that physical stuff is …